Retirement

The lady walking her dog past our house the other morning called out to me, "How are you enjoying retirement?"

"I'm only semi-retired," I said.

She ignored that.

"You're lucky you live in Rocky River," she continued. "They have a wonderful senior center. They have all sorts of things you can do."

What the hell? She means well, but retirement does not mean I'm going to sit in a rocker with a shawl on my lap. I already know what I'm going to do. I might take the fireman's exam. Maybe I'll go to Africa and climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. A former neighbor of ours did that only a year after she was shot in the face by a robber. I'll form a Colin Dussault tribute band. I'm definitely going to get my motorcycle license. I see that rugby will probably be in the Olympics in 2016. I have seven years to get in shape.

As you can see, I've already started a project. You're reading it. I don't know how often I’ll update my blog. My goal is everyday, so keep checking in.

There are two reasons for this. The first is mercenary. If you get in the habit of reading my blog, you might buy my book when it comes out next spring in time for Father's Day.

The second reason is health.

"Hal Lebovtiz told me to never retire," football coach Joe Perella said.

Hal was the beloved sports editor of The Plain Dealer and later a columnist for the Lake County News-Herald among other papers. He worked into his 88th year until he died of prostate cancer. About a week before he died, he looked up from his hospital bed in University Hospital and said to me, "If you ever get prostate cancer, get it removed." If he had his prostate removed 20 years ago he might still be alive and he'd still be writing his column.

Perella took the advice. He's 68 years old and he just returned to coaching at St. Edward High School, where he's the offensive coordinator.

Romeo Crennel, who's over 60 and does not need the money, says he'll resume coaching next year when he recovers from hip surgery.

There's something about old coaches. You almost have to hit them over the head with a shovel to get them to retire. Bill Gutbrod, 84 years old, has returned to Villa Angela-St. Joseph High as backfield coach. That's where he began his head coaching career in 1950.

I can't promise that will be me, but I hope it is. It's always dangerous to look too far ahead. Someone once said, "If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans."

Maybe I'll try stand-up comedy. He's probably up there laughing His ass off at me already.