Musings on Swine Flu & the Execution of a Murderer/Rapist

With the menace of swine flu lurking all around us, the Catholic Church must be spreading swine flu like crazy because of its ritual of shaking hands at the "Sign of Peace" at Mass, which takes place just before Communion.

I should explain for the benefit of any Pagans or other non-Catholics reading this. After saying the Our Father, everyone starts shaking hands all around.

I'm sure this has occurred to many people, not only germophobics, but Catholics are conditioned to never question Holy Mother Church. We spread our germs around from hand to hand, and then we take the host in our contaminated hands and put it in our mouths. The food of life can't possibly hurt us, can it?

Some of us also share the communal chalice of wine at communion. In a spiritual sense, this is mouth to mouth resuscitation, but in a down to earth sense we would not normally share the same glass with strangers. A Eucharistic minister once confessed to me her discomfort with one aspect of her duties. The Eucharistic minister must finish any wine remaining in the chalice.

"I can't help but think of all the germs in there," she said.

There must be some sort of miraculous sterilization involved here which was not covered in the Baltimore Catechism. Maybe it was added to the revised edition.

However, in its role as comforter to the afflicted, a job previously handled by H. L. Mencken, perhaps the Church should suspend the hand-shaking practice and substitute the fist knock, emulating Mr. and Mrs. Obama on the night he was nominated at the DNC.

I'll get back to sports in a day or two, but first a comment on the execution of Romell Broom, the rapist and murderer. He actually might be spared because they can't find a usable vein to give him the juice. Phillip Morris wrote a thoughtful column about it in Thursday's PD. I like Phillip Morris, even though he's a conservative. He's a rational fellow.

There is nothing rational about this, however. This is a comedy sketch. It's material for a standup comic. The guy stabbed a girl to death and now his defense lawyer says that sticking needles in him to find a vein is cruel and unusual punishment. She should be disbarred. The state legislature must amend its statute governing executions. Take the handcuffs off the executioner and put a pistol in his hand.

I think I know the person who would be willing to pull the trigger -- Bessye Middletown, the victim's mother.

That's all for now. I'm going to a birthday party now. Mine.